Parenting is often a chore filled with moments of love and joy. Raising a child while grieving is an especially difficult task, a journey with no end, plain and simple, as one woman discovered.
A mother thinks her daughter should be allowed to have a relationship with her permanently damaged father.
She writes for the r/parenting subreddit. Heartbreaking anxietyShe worried that allowing her three-year-old daughter to meet her father was doing more harm than good. She revealed that her husband suffered severe brain damage while she was pregnant.
Due to the terrible nature of the accident, he was hospitalized for the first five months of his son’s life. Getting constant care for him was a struggle. The mother took care of her son and injured husband for two years while working full-time.
Now, her husband lives in a facility near his family. She described his condition, saying he was “in intensive care and has impulse control issues, mobility issues, and is cognitively a teenager.”
Because of his brain injury, he has ‘never been a traditional father’ and only has a 10-minute attention span.
She brings her teenage son to visit her father every six weeks, but those visits have become difficult. “He always gets mad when we go because he can’t come home to live with us,” she said. She worries that having him in their lives is hurting the teenager emotionally.
“I told him I was sorry and that I loved him very much. He replied that he doesn’t love me and my daughter said I still love you mommy. All I felt was heartbreak. my baby [was] I’m trying to prove my feelings,” she shared.
She also said that she financially supports the three as a parent herself, making the situation even more dire.
“My husband loves her and talks about her all the time,” she said. “It’s a heartbreaking life that you don’t wish on anyone,” she said, noting that some situations never have a clear solution.
The mother received an outpouring of support from people on Reddit, many of whom have family members who have experienced traumatic brain injury and spoke of the unique and emotional challenges of such a loss.
Someone said, “You are in a very difficult place, and I commend you for thinking of others when you often feel like you are sinking. “What kind of insight do you want her to have when she’s 20?” They suggested pointing forward to find an answer by asking.
However, the mother also notes that she should not ignore the emotional toll it all has on her, saying, “Please consider yourself. You should too. No one wanted this. But your peace and happiness should be considered,” he said.
While the road ahead is unclear, one thing is clear: the mother is putting her heart on the line and trying to take care of her family with every tool she has. Whatever she decides, she must give herself grace.
Alexandra Blogger is a writer on the YouTango News & Entertainment team. She covers parenting, pop culture and all things related to the entertainment industry.