Sex and Relationships
If you want to get off, get on it.
Orgasm isn’t just a way to end up freaking out in the sheets—it also has physical and mental benefits. Yet the secret of the Big O has eluded men and women for centuries.
Many surveys show that about half of women are dissatisfied with how often they climax, and 10% to 15% of women have never had an orgasm in their lives. The National Medical Library reported on this.
Men have less problems – only about 5% to 10%, According to a study published by Sexual Medicine — but that still leaves millions of Americans who can’t climax or feel insecure when their partner can’t get off.
Every body is different, but research and experts agree that these three factors are key to reaching the finish line.
Stimulation
It may seem intuitive, but what does “stimulation” actually mean?
Dr. Mintz, a sex psychologist and therapist, told The Post: “It’s all about the combination of pressure and rhythm in terms of the type of stimulation you need.”
Applying the right amount of pressure to erotic zones such as the clitoris, penis, or ears helps induce sexual arousal and ultimately activates the muscles to contract, a necessary physical step.
The pressure should also be applied with a good rhythm – according to some, it is the key to orgasm.
Experts, including Dr. Mintz agrees that a great way to find the sweet spot for the G spot is to bring a vibrator into the bedroom.
According to one study, getting into the flow of a good rhythm can focus attention so intensely that it overrides any other thoughts and self-awareness, and puts the person in an almost trance-like state, allowing enough intensity of experience to trigger the climax mechanisms. Published in Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology.
Mindfulness
To achieve sexual trance, you must learn the sensations of sexual experience and achieve mindfulness.
Dr. “Awesomeness is putting your mind and body in the same place at the same time,” says Mintz. To the LELO ambassador, explained. “And most of us don’t do that in our lives, even in our sex lives.”
“When we have sex, we think, ‘What do I look like?’ what am i doing I’m fine?’ And you can’t have an orgasm when you’re not in your body. You have to learn how to be in your body.”
She recommends that everyone try meditation or yoga to practice mindfulness in their daily lives or play music during sex.
“The myth about mindfulness is that it takes a lot of practice and you have to meditate every day. No. You can practice mindfulness in your daily life,” Dr. Mintz insisted.
Dr. Mintz shared that an easy way to start practicing mindfulness is brushing your teeth.
“The next time you brush your teeth, really pay attention to the sensation. When your mind wanders, bring it back to the senses. You can learn mindfulness in everyday activities and then apply it to the bedroom,” she said.
Communication
Once you’ve used mindfulness to find what pressure and rhythm gets you to the finish line, you should communicate this to your partner.
“Couples—regardless of relationship or relationship—who talk about sex and talk about what they need during sex are more likely to have an orgasm,” said Dr. Mintz.
“A common myth is that your partner should know what you want without asking. No one reads your mind. Communication comes from here.”
While moaning and groaning can help guide your partner, verbally showing them how to help you concentrate can also be helpful.
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